1. Be still and know that I am God;... Psalm 46:10
2. Be still and know that I Am....
3. Be still and know...
4. Be still...
5. Be....
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
"Not quite what I was planning"
I recently finished reading the book, Signs of Life, by Natalie Taylor. She was twenty-four and pregnant, when she suddenly became a widow. That puts life into perspective doesn't it! No time to plan, no diagnosis or time to prepare, just gone. Her husband died in an accident on something similar to a skateboard. He was 26 or 27, I can't remember. It is not a happy summer read, but I like reading about things that people have to overcome and learn how they overcame them. We will all face difficult circumstances and events in this life. The key is what we run to and how we get through these events. Since I am a Christian it struck me that she is not. I don't say that to condemn her, but just as an observation. I am not sure how anyone goes through this life without Christ as their strength. At any rate, that is not the purpose of this blog. I just wanted to highlight a part of the book I really enjoyed. Here is an excerpt:
"On Friday after school, Deedee picks up Kai ( the author's son) and tells me to take a few hours to myself. I decide to wander through Borders bookstore for a while. I find a book called "Not Quite What I Was Planning." Smith magazine invited its subscribers to submit their own six-word memoirs. The book was inspired by an Ernest Hemingway Line: "Baby shoes: for sale, never worn." Hemingway proved that an entire story could be told in six words. The book is amazing. It's funny and sad. I want to meet all of the people behind the quips. "I'm ten and have an attitude." "I still make coffee for two." "Accidentally killed a cat. Fear anything delicate." One of my personal favorites: "Birth, childhood, adolescence, adolescence, adolescence, adolescence."
Of course I think about my life in six words. What would it be? What six words would summarize the insanity of the last year of my life, let alone the first twenty-four? What first comes to mind is "Single widowed mother trying to recover." But then, I reason, if I only had six words, would I choose the word widow? Would I allow that word to make up my identity? Just a half-dozen words to describe everything I've been through---would widow make the team? If I wanted to be as descriptive as possible, then certainly widow does explain a lot. I am a widow, at least in title. But after reading through some more six-word memoirs, I decide that if I only had six words, I wouldn't take widow. "The female version of Indiana Jones." That's not mine, that's an entry on page 29. It's brilliant. I want to be friends with that girl. Maybe she's a widow too and she just decided that her adventurous spirit was more important than her marital status."
The excerpt is long, but I love it. I especially love the last one: "The female version of Indiana Jones." I so want to steal that one myself. I'd like to think that I resemble that remark! I also love the part that says "Maybe she's a widow too and she just decided that her adventurous spirit was more important than her marital status." I am not a widow, but I am single. I have been single for longer than I expected, hence why I identify so much with the title "Not quite what I was planning." I was planning on being like my mom when I grow up. I thought I would marry by at least by 25, then buy a house with my husband, and then be a stay at home mom of 2.5 kids, with a mini van of course!! What I have planned has turned into, buying two houses on my own and traveling with other single friends like me. It has been wonderful in a lot of ways, just not quite what I had planned. I have recently decided that my adventurous spirit is more important than my marital status. I have decided I am not going to wait for someone to do things with. I am going to go do those things and not hold back, as much as depends on my bank account that is!!
So, what is your six word memoir? I would love to know. I have some of my own like: "No, I am not married,....yet.", and "No, I do not have kids." "I am not who you think." My six word memoir will surely change over time. So, like I said, what's yours?
"On Friday after school, Deedee picks up Kai ( the author's son) and tells me to take a few hours to myself. I decide to wander through Borders bookstore for a while. I find a book called "Not Quite What I Was Planning." Smith magazine invited its subscribers to submit their own six-word memoirs. The book was inspired by an Ernest Hemingway Line: "Baby shoes: for sale, never worn." Hemingway proved that an entire story could be told in six words. The book is amazing. It's funny and sad. I want to meet all of the people behind the quips. "I'm ten and have an attitude." "I still make coffee for two." "Accidentally killed a cat. Fear anything delicate." One of my personal favorites: "Birth, childhood, adolescence, adolescence, adolescence, adolescence."
Of course I think about my life in six words. What would it be? What six words would summarize the insanity of the last year of my life, let alone the first twenty-four? What first comes to mind is "Single widowed mother trying to recover." But then, I reason, if I only had six words, would I choose the word widow? Would I allow that word to make up my identity? Just a half-dozen words to describe everything I've been through---would widow make the team? If I wanted to be as descriptive as possible, then certainly widow does explain a lot. I am a widow, at least in title. But after reading through some more six-word memoirs, I decide that if I only had six words, I wouldn't take widow. "The female version of Indiana Jones." That's not mine, that's an entry on page 29. It's brilliant. I want to be friends with that girl. Maybe she's a widow too and she just decided that her adventurous spirit was more important than her marital status."
The excerpt is long, but I love it. I especially love the last one: "The female version of Indiana Jones." I so want to steal that one myself. I'd like to think that I resemble that remark! I also love the part that says "Maybe she's a widow too and she just decided that her adventurous spirit was more important than her marital status." I am not a widow, but I am single. I have been single for longer than I expected, hence why I identify so much with the title "Not quite what I was planning." I was planning on being like my mom when I grow up. I thought I would marry by at least by 25, then buy a house with my husband, and then be a stay at home mom of 2.5 kids, with a mini van of course!! What I have planned has turned into, buying two houses on my own and traveling with other single friends like me. It has been wonderful in a lot of ways, just not quite what I had planned. I have recently decided that my adventurous spirit is more important than my marital status. I have decided I am not going to wait for someone to do things with. I am going to go do those things and not hold back, as much as depends on my bank account that is!!
So, what is your six word memoir? I would love to know. I have some of my own like: "No, I am not married,....yet.", and "No, I do not have kids." "I am not who you think." My six word memoir will surely change over time. So, like I said, what's yours?
Mafia friend
I have been wanting to write this blog for awhile. It has been on my mind at least for awhile. I am more hesitant to write when I know others are actually reading my thoughts and words. (ie. editor Jamie! ;) ) It is intimidating! I am doing this for fun and catharsis more than anything. (With that said, my latest ramblings have to do with something I heard Anita Renfroe talk about in her comedy sketch).
This past March I went to see Mandisa and Anita Renfroe at a local church. For those who don't know them, Mandisa is a contemporary christian music artist and Anita is a Christian comedian. Anita did a sketch on Mafia friends and Bronco friends.
I would say that most people remember the whole OJ Simpson scandal/murder trial. She refers to Bronco friends as those friends who will "drive the Bronco" so to speak, when such an occasion should arise. Those 2am crisis situations where you need someone ASAP! There are only a select few (if your lucky), or only one, who will come to your aid at such a time.
She also spoke about Mafia friends. Mafia friends are those people that you have been friends with so long and that know so much about you, that if they ever decided to leave you would have to kill them!!! All of this is a joke, obviously, yet it holds true to a degree. That is why it is so funny. Anyway, after this event I couldn't help but consider who my mafia friend is and who my Bronco friends are.
I immediately thought of my best friend from high school, Nicky David, now Durachinsky.( I still worry if I spell it right! ) She is definitely my Mafia friend. We became friends in junior high and the friendship continued through high school until I moved to Georgia! (Shame on me.) Well, we had a lot of fun together and got into a lot of trouble as well. Just the connotation of the word 'Mafia' brings up the idea of secrecy and trouble and we had our fare share. I won't go into too much detail, but there was a lot of sneaking out of her house at 2am and rolling houses. Let's just say I am glad the cops went to HER house and not mine. I would have been crying and saying over and over: "I did it!, I did it!" I am not saying that some of the things we did were right, because they weren't, but we did do them and had fun. Sin is fun after all, otherwise we wouldn't be tempted to do it.
There was also the time we got drunk on her trampoline in her back yard. I know full well why people say don't mix beer and liquor..... Cringe. I tried to throw up in the closet, which I thought was the bathroom! Thankfully, she directed me to the toilet! I guess this is somewhat, or even majorly shocking for some people. I am not sure what to say, other than no one is what they seem or what you may perceive. I of course, am no longer in high school and no longer who I was then. I have since repented of my sin and given my life over to Christ fully. At that time, I was only a Christian in name and not action. I regret some of the things we did, although fun.
I also remember swimming in her pool, and going babysitting with her. I remember when she first met Dan, now her husband. I have a lot of great memories of spending time with Nicky and her family. Oh, I just remembered our Senior class trip to New York City. We had a blast seeing the sights and checking out the sailors. It was fleet week, lucky us! ;) I almost forgot about going to Prom, and my dress being velvet, crushing under my weight in the exact shape of my butt. How embarrassing! Throughout these experiences I remember her sarcasm and humor, and our friendship in general.
I miss my Mafia friend, the one who knows all the things I have done good and bad in high school. I thought I wouldn't be able to live without her. I remember threatening my parents that I was going to move back to Ohio the summer we left! A tough thing to do with no money, education, or job! It was a hard time for me, but I was able to move on in life. I will never forget her though, and the fun we had. Thankfully, I was able to see her twice after we moved. I was able to be the maid of honor in her wedding and go to Florida with them to Sanibel Island. I haven't seen her since those times. I hope someday to see her again. (I act like Ohio is in another country!). I would love to meet her two girls and see her whole family again. I love them all!
The rule with Mafia friends, is that if either one decides to stop being friends, the other one gets the axe! Haha. I don't think that will happen, but just in case, I will just have to make an offer she can't refuse. :)
This past March I went to see Mandisa and Anita Renfroe at a local church. For those who don't know them, Mandisa is a contemporary christian music artist and Anita is a Christian comedian. Anita did a sketch on Mafia friends and Bronco friends.
I would say that most people remember the whole OJ Simpson scandal/murder trial. She refers to Bronco friends as those friends who will "drive the Bronco" so to speak, when such an occasion should arise. Those 2am crisis situations where you need someone ASAP! There are only a select few (if your lucky), or only one, who will come to your aid at such a time.
She also spoke about Mafia friends. Mafia friends are those people that you have been friends with so long and that know so much about you, that if they ever decided to leave you would have to kill them!!! All of this is a joke, obviously, yet it holds true to a degree. That is why it is so funny. Anyway, after this event I couldn't help but consider who my mafia friend is and who my Bronco friends are.
I immediately thought of my best friend from high school, Nicky David, now Durachinsky.( I still worry if I spell it right! ) She is definitely my Mafia friend. We became friends in junior high and the friendship continued through high school until I moved to Georgia! (Shame on me.) Well, we had a lot of fun together and got into a lot of trouble as well. Just the connotation of the word 'Mafia' brings up the idea of secrecy and trouble and we had our fare share. I won't go into too much detail, but there was a lot of sneaking out of her house at 2am and rolling houses. Let's just say I am glad the cops went to HER house and not mine. I would have been crying and saying over and over: "I did it!, I did it!" I am not saying that some of the things we did were right, because they weren't, but we did do them and had fun. Sin is fun after all, otherwise we wouldn't be tempted to do it.
There was also the time we got drunk on her trampoline in her back yard. I know full well why people say don't mix beer and liquor..... Cringe. I tried to throw up in the closet, which I thought was the bathroom! Thankfully, she directed me to the toilet! I guess this is somewhat, or even majorly shocking for some people. I am not sure what to say, other than no one is what they seem or what you may perceive. I of course, am no longer in high school and no longer who I was then. I have since repented of my sin and given my life over to Christ fully. At that time, I was only a Christian in name and not action. I regret some of the things we did, although fun.
I also remember swimming in her pool, and going babysitting with her. I remember when she first met Dan, now her husband. I have a lot of great memories of spending time with Nicky and her family. Oh, I just remembered our Senior class trip to New York City. We had a blast seeing the sights and checking out the sailors. It was fleet week, lucky us! ;) I almost forgot about going to Prom, and my dress being velvet, crushing under my weight in the exact shape of my butt. How embarrassing! Throughout these experiences I remember her sarcasm and humor, and our friendship in general.
I miss my Mafia friend, the one who knows all the things I have done good and bad in high school. I thought I wouldn't be able to live without her. I remember threatening my parents that I was going to move back to Ohio the summer we left! A tough thing to do with no money, education, or job! It was a hard time for me, but I was able to move on in life. I will never forget her though, and the fun we had. Thankfully, I was able to see her twice after we moved. I was able to be the maid of honor in her wedding and go to Florida with them to Sanibel Island. I haven't seen her since those times. I hope someday to see her again. (I act like Ohio is in another country!). I would love to meet her two girls and see her whole family again. I love them all!
The rule with Mafia friends, is that if either one decides to stop being friends, the other one gets the axe! Haha. I don't think that will happen, but just in case, I will just have to make an offer she can't refuse. :)
Saturday, March 26, 2011
My Renaissance Man
My Renaissance man, Uncle Dave, or Dave Thatcher is a man of many talents and skills. I am amazed at what he has done and is able to do. He cooks, he cleans, he....oh wait, he isn't a Saturday morning cheap infomercial gadget! Well, you get the idea. He does so much, like caning chairs! He cut down a cherry tree on his property and built cabinets, redid his own kitchen, AND put cherry flooring in the next room! (not to mention putting up fences and building a new porch) I find those skills to be amazing, since I don't have those talents. He also hunts, and knows how to sap Maple trees. (There is an old sap house that sits on his property). He can make maple sugar candy and of course syrup. On one visit as adults my mom and I sampled some homemade wine of his and some pickles he had made. (not together of course!) He is also an avid dancer, specifically swing dancing. He could tell you the different types of Swing, from East coast swing to West coast. He in short amazes me, with all he can and has done.
I tell you all these things to illustrate the kind of passion and zeal he has had for life, all while facing Prostate cancer. He has been fighting for about seven years, enduring Chemo treatment after Chemo treatment. All the while he as kept dancing, kept cooking, and kept building. Building into my life a desire to not only work but to live and not take a day for granted. To get out of my living room and go, and see, and do, and meet people. He inspires me.
Since high school my Uncle Dave and I have kept in touch via e-mail. We have written over the years about our daily lives. I have been kept informed on the deer he has shot and how well his garden has been over the years. I tell him about my job, my struggles, and my joys. He has also given me advice, and a little loving chastisement, such as: "You know who you will meet in your living room." He has always had a way of provoking me to action without,well, Provoking me to irritation or anger. He is blunt and straight to the point, one of the many things I love about him. One of the many things I will miss about him. You see he is dying. I say with tears that my Renaissance man is leaving. We were told about two months. He has fought and fought, and now it is time, not to surrender, but to go with grace and strength. To go with the strength that only God can give.
I can't be there with him to say goodbye. My mom and sister Laurie have the privilege to go and love on him, and show him what he means to us. I am not able to get off of work to go, but I know it will be o.k. God is sovereign. I wish so much to be there to tell him how he has been more like a father to me than an Uncle, but I can't. I don't know that I could say it anyway, so I am saying it here. This post has been long, yet I can't write enough words to show you the humor, zeal, and all that is My Renaissance Man. I love you Uncle Dave and I will never forget or stop loving you.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Going Granola
Tonight I found myself at Kroger in the Natural Foods section. I never thought I would do most of my shopping there. In fact, I made fun of people who ate gluten free, dairy free, egg free, and taste free food. Funny how life brings us into situations we swore we would NEVER be in. Hmmm, like being single at 33....hmmm that's another blog for another day! Anyway, I have been really fatigued and sleepy for years. I have finally had enough and I am seeking answers. I have been going to an Integrative medicine facility in Atlanta. They check EVERYTHING, and I mean EVERY THING. They check your poop, your pee, your saliva, and of course your blood. They look high and they look low, for answers to your ailments. This is quite opposite of Western medicine, which looks in familiar places and in those places only. The protocols are limited and so are the band-aids, err I mean solutions. Most often the answer is drugs, drugs, and more drugs. Now don't get me wrong, I would be a hypocrite if I didn't believe in and condone western medicine. After all, I am a nurse. I just think the focus is wrong. Instead of finding the reason for a disease or symptom western medicine seeks mainly to treat the symptoms and not the cause. Doctors do treat the cause for disease at times, but if the answer is not readily apparent, not much further investigation is done.
This type of medicine is what I am most familiar in receiving. That is why I am so blown away by the care and protocols at the Integrative Medicine facility. I have now been put on a gluten free and dairy free diet.(It is to give my intestines a rest). I guess they were tired too. It would take me several blogs to explain the rationale and benefits of this diet. I am also on a litany of supplements to help my body heal on its own. This skeptical and cynical nurse has been reduced to a label reading, gluen free, supplement taking "granola" loving fiend. This is all in the hopes of finally not needing two hour naps! Soooo, stick around and see how Granola I can be. I have a feeling I will be doing more things I said I would NEVER do.
This type of medicine is what I am most familiar in receiving. That is why I am so blown away by the care and protocols at the Integrative Medicine facility. I have now been put on a gluten free and dairy free diet.(It is to give my intestines a rest). I guess they were tired too. It would take me several blogs to explain the rationale and benefits of this diet. I am also on a litany of supplements to help my body heal on its own. This skeptical and cynical nurse has been reduced to a label reading, gluen free, supplement taking "granola" loving fiend. This is all in the hopes of finally not needing two hour naps! Soooo, stick around and see how Granola I can be. I have a feeling I will be doing more things I said I would NEVER do.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Unpacking Boxes
I recently moved back to Georgia from Tennessee. I moved back in August, and moved into my house in November. Although I have been in my house for months I have boxes left to unpack. It is usually only in desperation that I go to unpack a box. One time early on it was for silver ware! More recently it has been for my blender. It is like a treasure hunt and Christmas all in one. I never know what I will find. There are things I purposely look for and there are things that I happen upon that I have forgotten.
I feel like I am unpacking boxes in my spiritual life as well. There are things that I feel I desperately need right away, like Faith and Perserverence. Then there are things that I would rather let sit in the garage of life (so to speak). Boxes marked with things like: Things I don't want to admit about myself or Past hurts and losses or my favortite: unfulfilled dreams. At some point, I will have to open these boxes to make room for others. More boxes are made each day with each experience and lesson God teaches me, and with each new person I meet. God has a place and a purpose for the contents of each of these boxes. Some things he wants me to keep, and some He wants me to give away....to lay at His feet. It is only when I have the courage to open the boxes of my heart WITH God, that things get set in order. It is my prayer that I will have the courage to open the boxes back in the back of the garage. The ones that are under other boxes, way in back and hidden from view, hiding in the dark.
I feel like I am unpacking boxes in my spiritual life as well. There are things that I feel I desperately need right away, like Faith and Perserverence. Then there are things that I would rather let sit in the garage of life (so to speak). Boxes marked with things like: Things I don't want to admit about myself or Past hurts and losses or my favortite: unfulfilled dreams. At some point, I will have to open these boxes to make room for others. More boxes are made each day with each experience and lesson God teaches me, and with each new person I meet. God has a place and a purpose for the contents of each of these boxes. Some things he wants me to keep, and some He wants me to give away....to lay at His feet. It is only when I have the courage to open the boxes of my heart WITH God, that things get set in order. It is my prayer that I will have the courage to open the boxes back in the back of the garage. The ones that are under other boxes, way in back and hidden from view, hiding in the dark.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Where are you?
My dog Ruby has separation anxiety. If I leave the room for a few minutes to go to the bathroom she starts to whimper, which turns into a howl the longer I am gone. She also has a bad habit of lunging at the T.V. when animals appear on the screen. This behavior led me to putting her on a leash and attaching it to the end table, hence her inability to find me when I leave the room. This solution has worked pretty well so far. It sounds a little harsh, but when there are scratches on your new 56in plasma screen, no amount of Ceasar Milan advice will do.
No matter how many times I come back and no matter how loyal I have been to her, she fears I will never return. Recently, (tonight actually) it occurred to me that I am the same way in my relationship with God. As soon as I don't perceive his presence or hear Him speak to me (either through people or circumstances) I panic and think He may not come back or He doesn't hear my prayers. How foolish! Even after His faithfulness to me time and time again, I think: maybe He won't answer this time. As I chided Ruby for doubting my love and faithfulness to her, I reminded myself of God's love and faithfulness to me! Praise God for how he teaches us in the seemingly mundane and ordinary things of life. Praise God for Ruby!
No matter how many times I come back and no matter how loyal I have been to her, she fears I will never return. Recently, (tonight actually) it occurred to me that I am the same way in my relationship with God. As soon as I don't perceive his presence or hear Him speak to me (either through people or circumstances) I panic and think He may not come back or He doesn't hear my prayers. How foolish! Even after His faithfulness to me time and time again, I think: maybe He won't answer this time. As I chided Ruby for doubting my love and faithfulness to her, I reminded myself of God's love and faithfulness to me! Praise God for how he teaches us in the seemingly mundane and ordinary things of life. Praise God for Ruby!
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